I was reading a post recently about birth plans – my heart sunk and slightly shattered reading some women’s story’s.
What seemed to be the constant response was don’t call it a plan. You can’t plan birth, so call it wishes or preferences, that way if you don’t get want you want its ok because after all it was just a wish.
I really had to take a step back and process this because I too, only a few moons ago was calling it birth preferences instead of plan. I too fell into the same trap. I did it because I didn’t want anyone to be disappointed.
But do you know what this language is creating and reinforcing? That women aren’t capable, that they need saving and most importantly, what they want as their ideal birth and how they want to be treated is only a wish and unattainable. No amount of planning could possibly leave them feeling powerful. Total bullshit.
Do you see how this is suppressing birthing women? This is silencing your voice and not showing you how to take charge and get the birth experience you want.
Your birth, the way you want to be treated, the way decisions need to be made are not some fantasy or dream.
Having a positive birth experience that is led by YOU, the birthing woman isn’t like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow no one finds.
It is possible.
You are capable. You have rights. You have power.
Birth isn’t always predictable but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a plan. See, a birth plan isn’t about one set of circumstances; its about planning for many different paths your birth may take. It helps you take charge and make an informed decision no matter what is thrown your way, even if it is far from your ideal birth.
Please stop calling how you want to give birth your wish or your preferences – its is doing way more damage than you think.